By being sensitive to the errors outlined in this chapter and adopting active listening skills, you may increase your communication effectiveness, increasing your ability to carry out the managerial functions of planning, organizing, leading, and controlling. The following are additional tools for helping you increase your communication effectiveness.
Career-Friendly Communications
Communication can occur without your even realizing it. Consider the following: Is your e-mail name professional? The typical convention for business e-mail contains some form of your name. While an e-mail name like “LazyGirl” or “DeathMonkey” may be fine for chatting online with your friends, they may send the wrong signal to individuals you e-mail such as professors and prospective employers.
- Is your outgoing voice mail greeting professional? If not, change it. Faculty and prospective recruiters will draw certain conclusions if, upon calling you, they hear a message that screams, “Party, party, party!”
- Do you have a “private” social networking Web site on MySpace.com, Facebook.com, or Xanga.com? If so, consider what it says about you to employers or clients. If it is information you wouldn’t share at work, it probably shouldn’t be there.
- Googled yourself lately? If not, you probably should. Potential employers have begun searching the Web as part of background checking and you should be aware of what’s out there about you.
Communication Freezers
Communication freezers put an end to effective communication by making the Receiver feel judged or defensive. Typical communication stoppers include critizing, blaming, ordering, judging, or shaming the other person. The following are some examples of things to avoid saying (Tramel & Reynolds, 1981; Saltman & O’Dea, 2008):
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Telling people what to do:
- “You must…”
- “You cannot…”
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Threatening with “or else” implied:
- “You had better…”
- “If you don’t…”
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Making suggestions or telling other people what they ought to do:
- “You should…”
- “It’s your responsibility to…”
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Attempting to educate the other person:
- “Let me give you the facts.”
- “Experience tells us that…”
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Judging the other person negatively:
- “You’re not thinking straight.”
- “You’re wrong.”
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Giving insincere praise:
- “You have so much potential.”
- “I know you can do better than this.”
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Psychoanalyzing the other person:
- “You’re jealous.”
- “You have problems with authority.”
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Making light of the other person’s problems by generalizing:
- “Things will get better.”
- “Behind every cloud is a silver lining.”
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Asking excessive or inappropriate questions:
- “Why did you do that?”
- “Who has influenced you?”
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Making light of the problem by kidding:
- “Think about the positive side.”
- “You think you’ve got problems!”
Key Takeaway
By practicing the skills associated with active listening, you can become more effective in your personal and professional relationships. Managing your online communications appropriately can also help you avoid career pitfalls. Finally, be aware of the types of remarks that freeze communication and try not to use them.
Exercises
- How can you assess if you are engaging in active listening?
- How does it feel when someone does not seem to be listening to you?
- Some companies have MySpace pages where employees can mingle and share ideas and information. Do you think this practice is a good idea? Why or why not?
- What advice would you give to someone who is going to become a first time manager in terms of communication?
References
Saltman, D., & O’Dea, N. (n.d.). Conflict management workshop powerpoint presentation. Retrieved July 1, 2008, from http://www.nswrdn.com.au/client_images/6806.PDF; Communication stoppers. Retrieved July 1, 2008, from Mental Health Today Web site: http://www.mental-health-today.com/Healing/communicationstop.htm.
Tramel, M., & Reynolds, H. (1981). Executive leadership. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.