Have you ever had an employee walk into your office and tell you he's getting a divorce or that he has cancer or a drug problem you can't sweep this news under the rug so come on managers let's talk about dealing with the personal problems of employees

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Most of us do a fine job maintaining our professional facade but we're all human. Just because we walk into the office doesn't mean we leave personal problems at home.  

When cracks do appear and you learn private information about your employees it's appropriate to react with empathy, but also remember the shoes you stand in those of the manager.

Here's what to do 

Number one listen listen listen.  When employee begins to speak to you about a private issue it's his turn to talk, your turn to listen.

Initially most employees are looking for support and they share personal problems with their managers because they trust those individuals.

Honor that trust by turning off your phone turning away from your computer and listening with your mind, body and heart.

Number two don't try and solve the problem. One initial automatic reaction to hearing a problem is to try to solve it. You can't do this with employee personal problems. It's not your job to get to the bottom of the situation and you definitely shouldn't give advice.

To react to what the employee said, you can say thank you for sharing that with me I am sorry to see you in pain. Don't say it will be okay or don't worry about it or I know what that is like.

Number three remember company resources and benefits. After an employee shares something with you you need to be ready to direct them to the appropriate resource. It's crucial you contact Human Resources ASAP.  HR can help the employee determine whether a leave is necessary or warranted. HR can also point to the company EAP or employee assistance program and he may be able to receive free or low-cost services to help with depression, Elder Care, or drug addiction and more.

Now if the employee has been performing poorly you need to approach the situation cautiously. In the US how organizations react to employees with medical issues is governed by the Americans with Disability Act.  As a manager you'll need to use empathy and respect in dealing with employee personal problems and don't forget to use your manager and HR as resources for you.

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